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Chakonic Wanderings
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| This journal is closed. Perhaps I will archive the entire journal and reopen it, I don't know yet. This journal is my past, I often show it to others to show (a bit) where I have been. Sometimes I regret closing it and opening another, But it still seems better than a wholesale deletion.
I like consistancy, this LJ is the only inconsistant thing in my online "life" if I could merge this with yurikitty and have both links point to the same journal, I would. but we're not there yet.
~wolf | comments: Leave a comment  |
| | Subject: | Reflections | | Time: | 05:15 pm | | Current Mood: | melancholy |
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| I looks at others succeeding in their relationships and I reflect on my own decisions. I envy them their success, and bemoan my personal failures. I hope my decisions are as fruitful as theirs. I may never know the abject bliss (and irritation) of a perfect monogamous relationship, but I hope that my decisions bring me similar bliss.
I think perhaps I was born a few years (or centuries) too soon.
They should've sent a poet, because I can't do this life justice as a "scientist".
~wolf | comments: Leave a comment  |
| Make yourself comfortable and listen now to a tale from long ago:
The once was a boy, a man to his society, but a boy nonetheless who had discovered magic. He had determined that Magic worked according to the will of the caster, and desired to become more than he was. Using all his knowledge and some inventiveness, he devised a spell of transformation. Once he had determined his spell was complete and he had the components, he thought long and hard about the best time to cast this spell. What he came up with was a date that was rather important in the collective aether at the time: December 31, 1999, the eve of Y2K. During the coming months, he marshalled his power. He took control of a decent triangular section of a local city (magically), refined his connection to a friend who was a magical battery, and assured his tools were properly blessed and energized. On the eve of what was assumed to be Y2K (and possibly the end of the world), he began his preparations. The circle was cast: first in salt, then thrice 'round with each of the sacred blades, and once with the sacred staff. The corners and elements were called, then the patron goddesses for each of the blades, ending with the moon. Finally, have blessed the circle (and the inward pulling spiral within), our boy placed himself in the exact center of the spiral and began to chant his mantra. All would have worked well, save for the intervention of his (then) best friend. The friend realized what the boy was doing, and while the spell was being cast, foxed the spell! When the boy came down from the mantra, nothing had changed, though he had felt something change. Puzzled and disappointed, he went to sleep. He was very surprised later to discover he had summoned a wolf spirit who had taken residence in his mind. A few years later, he changed his use-name to "Wolf" to reflect the outside as the inside is. Now they are of one body, but not necessarily of one mind.
Thus is the story of wolf. | comments: Leave a comment  |
| This was a chronicle of my life from 2003 to 2004.
Now it has been heavily deleted, commented, and re-written. I have chosen to re-write my past. As a friend of mine says:
"Documentation, or it didn't happen."
Well, a lot of it "didn't happen" anymore. I remember, those involved remember, the rest of the world doesn't need to know or remember.
Blessings, Wolf | comments: Leave a comment  |
| I don't usually do this, but the follow 2 songs show how I feel about how I've treated the world and those in it:
Rolling Stones -- Paint It Black
I see a red door and I want it painted black No colors anymore I want them to turn black I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes I have to turn my head until my darkness goes I see a line of cars and they're all painted black With flowers and my love both never to come back I see people turn their heads and quickly look away Like a new born baby it just happens ev'ry day I look inside myself and see my heart is black I see my red door and it has been painted black Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts It's not easy facin' up when your whole world is black No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue I could not foresee this thing happening to you If I look hard enough into the settin' sun My love will laugh with me before the mornin' comes I see a red door and I want it painted black No colors anymore I want them to turn black I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes I have to turn my head until my darkness goes Hmm, hmm, hmm, ... I wanna see it painted, painted black Black as night, black as coal I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black Yeah!
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Runaway Train -- Soul Asylum
Call you up in the middle of the night Like a firefly without a light You were there like a blowtorch burning I was a key that could use a little turning So tired that I couldn't even sleep So many secrets I couldn't keep Promised myself I wouldn't weep One more promise I couldn't keep It seems no one can help me now I'm in too deep there's no way out This time I have really led myself astray Runaway train never going back Wrong way on a one way track Seems like I should be getting somewhere Somehow I'm neither here nor there Can you help me remember how to smile Make it somehow all seem worthwhile How on earth did I get so jaded Life's mystery seems so faded I can go where no one else can go I know what no one else knows Here I am just drownin' in the rain With a ticket for a runaway train Everything is cut and dry Day and night , earth and sky Somehow I just don't believe it Bought a ticket for a runaway train Like a madman just a laughin' at the rain Little out of touch , little insane Just easier than dealing with the pain Runaway train never comin' back Runaway train tearin' up the track Runaway train burnin' in my veins Runaway but it always seems the same
Wolf | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment  |
| | that is the question. it's only $15 more. And it would be about the only good thing about that car. | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment  |
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Chakonic Wanderings
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